thinking about high school makes me uncomfortable and just kinda.. ick inside. not that i had a bad high school experience at all! just still some of the stuff is overly emotional considering how long it’s been. i hate remembering how stupid i was about certain things, even though everyone is pretty stupid while they’re in high school. the thing is, i’m probably the only one that even remembers many specific incidents of my stupidity, most others probably have faint memories of me, unless they’re the people i still keep in contact with, in which case, they’ve have much more recent stupid actions to judge me upon. 

i think the stuff from high school that still makes my heart feel like it’s being crushed sticks with me so strongly just because it’s from such a weird period of my life. and by that i mean that teenagedom is just a weird period in everyone’s life whether they realize it or not. i’ve definitely changed significantly in the past four years, in tremendous and extremely positive ways, but there’s still that little part inside of me that’s exactly the same. i just wish i could “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” parts of high school. 

anyway, basically i just need to keep moving forward and stop looking back so much (which is significantly easier when I’m not home). i’m about to start my last quarter of college and then embark on real adulthood (sort of… hopefully…) but, here’s to finishing college off strong. 

i don’t know if I’ve made any sense at all.